1. Thou shalt not eat salami-and-gummy-vitamin salads every other Wednesday at 9 PM. Or not. As in, thou shall.
2. Thou shalt not purposely trip over tribes of Pookalooz on thy spiritual journey toward refrigerators. Or thou shall.
3. Thou shalt not take speed bumps too fast on postage-stamp-covered streets designated as landing strips for Mudskippers who fly in manila envelopes. Or thou shall.
4. Thou shalt not mention how these "rules" are only statements of the possibilities and how I ought to stop pretending to boss thee around. Or thou shall.
5. Thou shalt not doubt thy right to be treated gently and kindly by everyone around thee.
6. Thou shalt glue Icarus-grade sunglasses to thine faces to ward off being blinded by thine own resplendence. Or not. As in, thou shalt not.
7. Thou shalt picket 6 O'clock bedtimes for elderly garden slugs hooked on 7 O'clock showings of Days of Our Chives. Or thou shalt not.
8. Thou shalt ferret out moles who weasel their way into clandestine clans, worm their way into possession of reputational dirt, and wing their way away to nests of evil to hatch sinister plots. Or thou shalt not.
9. Thou shalt comment on every post. Or thou shalt not.
10. Thou shalt follow all the rules and live by them and display them in your actions and act in accordance with them, and not break or disobey or disregard or deviate from or otherwise not follow the rules. Or thou shalt not.
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